All Hands on Tech

by Cory Waterhouse

Bartendro 15

All Hands on Tech

Price: $4,000

According to presenters: “B15 employs 15 sophisticated peristaltic pumps that work in unison to dispense accurate, repeatable cocktails. Use any web-enabled tablet or smartphone to select cocktails from a menu that only shows the drinks available to be made. In the administration back-end, new ingredients can be added to the list and those ingredients can be used to custom create new drinks, or modify existing ones. Save your favorites and discover new ones! Shot mode allows users to pour shots directly and a trending tab allows you to monitor the most popular cocktails, as well as how much alcohol has been used. … This bot is perfect for anything from a small party to large events, from the office to a wedding, a small restaurant to an ultra-busy nightclub. Making several hundred drinks in an evening is no sweat. Save money by reducing messiness, wasted alcohol and time.”

4L Magazine’s take:  The only bartender that won’t want to flying punt you in the skull for snapping, whistling, flinging coasters or pounding the bar to try and get a drink. Then again, robots will one day enslave all of mankind, so I wouldn’t upset this one either.

Lexus Hoverboard

All Hands on Tech

Price: TBA

According to presenters: “The Lexus Hoverboard uses magnetic levitation to achieve amazing frictionless movement. Liquid nitrogen cooled superconductors and permanent magnets combine to allow Lexus to create the impossible.”

4L Magazine’s take:  Seems so odd that out of all the companies to invent a hoverboard (that was smoking for some reason in the video), it was Lexus. It just seems like the kind of a company for a retired accountant who likes scotch more that his family and not the kind of company to breathe life into a geek’s dream about a movie from 30 years ago involving a skateboard not tethered by gravity.


EXP 10 Speed 6 Concept

All Hands on Tech

Price: TBA

According to presenters: “See the future of Bentley’s design ambition. Muscular, athletic body work echoes the inspiration drawn from sleek, aerodynamic aircraft forms. … The inspiration for the interior comes from the continuous line that runs around the cabin, driving through the console into two symmetrical wings before flowing into the door and looping back into the console armrest. These features combine futuristic technology seamlessly with progressive Bentley craftsmanship.”

4L Magazine’s take: In my experience, TBA means the cost will hover somewhere around a three bedroom home in California. Or a mansion with a moat and three cars in Texas.

Plastc Card

All Hands on Tech

Price: $13

According to presenters: “Plastc helps you pay any way and any where you want. With a magnetic strip and bar code display, your Plastc Card will work in all the places you already frequent. Plus, with NFC and Chip and PIN capabilities a software update away, you’ll soon be ready for the future of payments.”

4L Magazine’s take:  Seeing as how I’m a big dummy and recently lost my wallet, having the Plastc Card would have been so much easier than having to individually cancel all my cards in my wallet.

But if by chance some gigantic schmuck does have my wallet, my cards are cancelled, I haven’t had cash in years, and I hope you enjoy the handwritten notes from my daughter. Note: She’s smart, strong and vindictive … and now she’s looking for you. Good luck, Chief.

War Hammer

All Hands on Tech

Price: $395

According to presenters: “The hammer above is stained with a provincial finish. The handle is woven with tan and brown leather and studded with brass decorative nails.”

4L Magazine’s take:

Just in case a Gallagher show breaks out around you (#WatermelonHatred) or you feel the need to start a real version of Donkey Kong in your office. And with those two comments, I have proven to be an old man, worthy of being mocked by you whippersnappers.

I’ll just be over here, mowing the lawn in black socks and sandals ….

X15 Flamethrower

All Hands on Tech

Price: $1,600 

According to presenters: “Each X15 Flamethrower comes fully tested with everything you need, this means there is no assembly required. Included are three interchangeable wand tips that allow you to adjust the range and efficiency of your flamethrower personalized to your specific application and one refillable, 20-ounce CO2 tank.”

4L Magazine’s take: WHY? What the hell do you mean, “Why?” Why wouldn’t someone want a flamethrower?